your thong is hanging out like whoa
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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