We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
