He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
