My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
