i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just pee around me
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Randomize
