you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
