This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
