if i can run in heels then i can drive
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
