their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
