so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
