not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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