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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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