I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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