all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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