A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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