Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
