just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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