I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
