We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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