8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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