You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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