My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
