O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
