You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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