why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
