I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
