you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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