erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
