the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
