Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
