dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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