I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
