Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
