Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
