hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
