I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
