dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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