i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
