You can't special order awesome
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
