I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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