Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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