Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
