i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
