god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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