Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
