after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
