i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
