So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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