that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
