too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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