My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
