my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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